They call you Mr Personality because you're so ugly

I took this beer personality quiz, and this was my real result:

You Are Bud Light

You're not fussy when it comes to beer. If someone hands it to you, you'll drink it. In fact, you don't understand beer snobbery at all. It all tastes the same once you're drunk! You're an enthusiastic drinker, and you can often be found at your neighborhood bar. You're pretty good at holding your liquor too - you've had lots of experience.

What's Your Beer Personality?

But I didn't like that connotation that I must drink a lot, so I tried to snob it out, and I got this:

You Are Heineken

You appreciate a good beer, but you're not a snob about it. You like your beer mild and easy to drink, so you can concentrate on being drunk. Overall, you're a friendly drunk who's likely to buy a whole round for your friends... many times. Sometimes you can be a bit boring when you drink. You may be prone to go on about topics no one cares about.

What's Your Beer Personality?

So I went over the top snobby, and I got this.

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world. Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What's Your Beer Personality?

I think this was written by a college student. But amusing on a busy Thursday regardless.

Majority Rules

So this weekend I drank the voting majority of a 6 pack of O'Mally's Irish Cream Ale while watching my Jayhawks stumble. Despite the score, I still lurve the bee. What started as a Caffrey's replacement crush has mushroomed into a stronger like. I still haven't had it on tap yet, but that day must be coming soon, because I need a nitro tap fix. One can only drink so much Guinness. Hey you, Weston Brewing Co friends and fans! Please tell me where I can drink this on tap! I promise to share with the rest of the class. Danke!

Rock Chalk Jayhawk

The trash talking started a few weeks ago. The drama begins in earnest at 7 pm CST tonight. I've been watching the hype of ESPN's GameDay all morning. I'll be watching the actual game from the safety of a suburban living room with a massive screen, drinking lots of beer. So, what beer goes best with Tiger meat?

**edited to add, post game**
Being a real KU football fan is new to me this year. I never bothered with it outside of a passing interest, to keep me busy until basketball season, so I have to say that I am blown away by the combined effort they made this year. I hope this means wonderful things for the future. And to the Mizzou fans - be thankful. Your quarterback rocks, this is your winningest season, I think, ever. Good luck meeting the Sooners.

She could be a FARMER in those clothes

I may not like the early morning lifestyle, but I'd gladly drink like a French-speaking Belgian farmer any day of the week.

I tried the Boulevard Smokestack Series Saison last weekend, and I loved it. Saison means season, so by definition, this is a seasonal beer, supposedly brewed in the winter months for summer consumption. It is golden, and light, and juicy/citrusy, and I can't wait to spring it on my family tomorrow during Thanksgiving dinner. (My sole responsibility is to provide the bread & the booze. Rock.)


The brewers notes on the Smokestack Series site makes the necessity of writing a full review less pressing. They literally spell out the taste, feel, flavor, etc. On the other hand, they are excellent sales tools, cuz when I read 'am, I want 'em!

How to spot a geek

I don't mean the cool kind. Not the, wow-you're-smart-and-know-all-kinds-of-useful-techy-cool-nerdy things. Not that kind. I mean the truly geeky, the embarrassing-to-admit-you-hang-out-with-them kind. I think producing a spreadsheet like below while planning a party might be a clue.

Drive by

Hey! You know what would be awesome? Cram a full 5 day work week into 2.5 days, add one new employee, 2 million additional time-suck projects, a few impossible deadlines, drop long-term planning off the table, and then shake until fully pressurized. Whee! Poppin' the cork on that one tomorrow afternoon, fo' sho'. I think the IPA, the Sixth Glass, and something completely different will be consumed on this upcoming 4 day.

Oh, and? Completely out of character, I was awake at 5 am this morning. FIVE. A. M. Run errands, do stuff, get Starbucks, and STILL get to work a full 30 minutes early. I mean, I know some people get up that early everyday, but those people are not me. Those people are farmers.

Last item. I saw this on the KC Beer Blog. Apparently, after all my not-really-holiday-hints, I actually DO need this item as a gift.

Seeing Tripel

I cracked open the Long Strange Tripel last night. And I have to say, damn! Those corks are NO joke. It took several attempts to get the bottle open. When it finally popped out, there was just a small little vapor snake making an escape. Up front, I loved this beer. It is strong, though, and after one, I felt it.

I didn't buy a chalice or a goblet or a snifter or a tulip glass. I poured it into my trusty Boulevard pint glass. And while I am fully aware that I may have missed out on some key character of the beer by totally disregarding the directions, I feel that I still got as much of a good sense of it as someone with my limited beer snobbitude would anyway.

The head bubbled up with a tiny delay, making me glad that I poured the glass only slightly over half full. The clean white bubbly head simmered down quickly, however, leaving just this thinner layer after a minute or so. By the time I finished, there was just a small, thin ring of white lacing at the bottom of the glass. The smell was clean and fruity, with an earthy undertone, and a heavy reality check on the alcohol content (9%). *Clarification - when I say earthy, I mean something that reminds me of the smell of the earth when it has been freshly turned over, like they way my garden smells right after I have planted and watered something for the first time. * The appearance was a bright golden hue, cloudy and carbonated. The first sip was a knock out for me, not having had anything else to drink before hand. "Whoo, that's some strong beer!" came from the husband. (But he drinks Bud Light, remember?) The first sweet, fruity, malty hit on the tongue gave way to some peppery and slightly spicy sensations. This beer is not over-carbonated, but maintains a nice body throughout, and after the first initial sips, the alcohol-burn seemed to dissipate. I liked it. A lot. But like other abbey tripel style beers, I can't drink too many. They make me sleepy. :)

Am I not worthy?

I have 2 bottles of fancy schmancy Boulevard brews, from the Smokestack series, sitting in my fridge. Specifically the Long Strange Tripel and the Saison. The Tripel is a strong golden brew, with tripple amounts of malt and alcohol, while the Saison is supposed to be a more refreshing, fruity, more summer-like beer.

(I purchased one from Rimann in PV and one from Batson in Mission, and picked up a 12 pack of Bud Light for the hubby to keep the peace. ) I am all about Belgians, apparently. I can't wait to pop the cork on one tonight - I have been saving them for the weekend. It gave me something to look forward to all week. :)


But now I am starting to get nervous. (slight exaggeration,k?) There are directions on the back of the bottle that strictly instruct me to use the correct glassware to consume this fabulous beverage. I don't have the correct glasses. I don't do glassware for specific drinks. We've discussed this before here. Like when I tried the Orval Trappist beer that demanded a beer chalice. Beer chalice? Really? I mean, if you REALLY want to know, I actually DO have something resembling a beer chalice. It is made of clay, and came from the Ren Fest feast I am forced to attend every year with my family. But if I pour beer into a clay-mug-like-thing, I won't be able to admire the color. So that's not happening. Besides, these 2 beers are supposed to be poured into a Tulip glass. Nope, don't have one of those. Beer Advocate has a Beer Glassware 101 that is currently scolding me for my casual attitude toward beer chalices.

I hate waiting too

My unnatural love for both beer and celebrity gossip rarely connect in a story that should appear here. But today, TMZ really came thru for me. This post appeared today, talking about a New Zealand guy who loves cold beer and hates carrying coolers full of ice as much as I do. And so he has invented the most important beer-related item since, well, I don't know what. And he calls it the Huski. Heh. It costs $50 in NZ $, which is around $38 US.

Although, really, what this story is pointing out to me is that as we approach the icy winter in North America, they are going to beaches in NZ because it is summertime. I am thinking that I need to be able to work virtually anywhere in the world, and a location in the southern hemisphere wouldn't be a terrible idea. Tahiti, New Zealand, Australia, wherever.

Responsibility

Boo, I know. But it is holiday time, and I am compelled to post something about not being stupid, getting hurt, or getting thrown in to jail when enjoying beer. So here's a few "didja know" facts to ponder while staring down a packed November/December booze-fueled holiday season. The Almstom Bros over at BeerAdvocate had some great tips, basically reinforcing their "Respect Beer" mantra:

• There's plenty of beer to be had, with plenty of time, so pace yourself. Drink for flavor, not just for impact. Always practice moderation when drinking. Get to know your limits, and don't exceed them. If you feel that moment of absolute cheer, take a break, grab a water and some food.
• Water is your friend. Drink plenty of it, to help detoxify and counteract the alcohol stripping water from your system.
  
• Eating also replenishes the system, slows down your rate of consumption, and helps to absorb alcohol so you don't find yourself inebriated after a few beers. However, though eating will slow the absorption of alcohol, it won't necessarily stop its impact.
• Alcohol is absorbed into the bloodstream at a different rates. Factors that can change this at the individual level include:
• Health. Mental and physical issues, such as your mood, illness, depression, stress, and fatigue, can increase the effects of alcohol.
• Weight. People who weigh less or have higher percentages of body fat will be more affected by alcohol.
• Gender. Men typically have less percentage of body fat than women, thus they tend to have a higher alcohol tolerance.
• Medication. Follow your medication's instructions or doctor's advice before drinking as some medications mixed with alcohol can be deadly.
• Time. How fast did you drink? Breaks in between beers? It all adds up. Pace yourself. If you had say 5 pints of a 5% beer within a short period of time, it would take your Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) around 15 hours to return to normal. FIFTEEN HOURS, PEOPLE!

Missouri & Kansas both have 0.08 legal limit on driving under the influence. Here's a calculator that will tell you how the math works. If I had 2 beers in 2 hours, I'd have a 0.04 BAC level. But if I had 4 beers in 4 hours, I'd be over 0.08. Think about your own habits, how having a clean legal record and a valid driver's license makes your current lifestyle possible, and how you really like not being guilty of harming innocent people. Or yourself.

Oh, and who else has noticed than KC has gotten remarkable in the availability of cabs in the last few years? It is awesome. The cost of a cab is SO MUCH cheaper than the alternatives. Don't drive if you shouldn't.

K, I think that's enough lecturing from me for today. The next post will be much more upbeat. Perhaps jovial. Or lighthearted. (These are my favorite, vague, mean-nothing terms that appear on creative concept scopes. Best ever.)

I like shiny things!

Fresh from their MySpace & Facebook debuts, and just now available to the the general population of the innernets, meet Boulevard's New Smokestack Series - limited edition artisan beers, featuring both traditional styles and experimental brews! (yay!) Behold, the Smokestack Series micro-site. Get it? Micro-site? Cuz it is for Micro-brews.

I am an idiot. But enjoy anyway! This stuff goes on sale in KC very, very soon! Like, super-duper soon, like today, now, soon!

These are a few of my favorite things

I love coffee. I love beer. I love DARK, PORTER beer. I am now singing Maria's song, while dancing around my office:
"When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad."

Copied & pasted from my inbox:

Get your jolt by the pint at 75^th Street Brewery

UP ALL NITRO ESPRESSO PORTER will be on tap starting

Monday 11/12 @ 5:30p.m

It's got our brewers running circles around the other guys - literally. This is a brew that will give you stamina...

Power to the pint!

This espresso porter began simply enough: a beautiful, dark-brown brew with hints of red on the sides of the glass. The aroma is all grown up: an perfect balance of roasted coffee and toasted malts. The taste has go power: it is a complex blend of nine malts and two varieties of local Roasterie espresso beans. The sweetness of the malt is trailed by a smooth bite of coffee.

We're pouring this beer with our own nitro system to add a tasty, creamy texture that rounds out the flavor.

If you like exquisite coffee and quality beer [why settle for less?], we dare you to be disappointed by this brew - it's for you.

Stop in Monday @ 5:30p.m. for a pint of UP ALL NITRO ESPRESSO PORTER. Then change the world.

Cheers!

Beer Me Monthly, Please!

Out of character, I decided to start thinking about holiday gifts BEFORE it is actually December. Staying more true to form, that means I am just doing a lot of internet searches, and not really purchasing anything yet. I am trying to decide what to get my youngest bro and his girlfriend, who are budding beer snobs. I am thinking a micro-beer of the month club might be appreciated. But none of them tell me enough about the beer to be sure they are worth the spend. Anyone have an experience with beer of the month clubs? I'd love some recommendations.

Oh, and hey, Boulevard Brewing Co.! You guys should really put together a bigger, more blown out holiday pack. I'd love to be able to give 12 months of Boulevard Beer to someone, without actually purchasing 144 bottles at once. I'm not even talking about the awful logistics of shipping beer, but maybe something with coupons, mailed to the recipient once a month, to be redeemed at a KC store? That would rule.

Two for the price of one

TWO WHOLE POSTS! On a Friday! Crazy town. Know what I want for dinner now? A boxty. And a pint or three.

How much beer would you have to drink to get a $300 bar tab?

One.

OK, I've never personally had a $300 bar tab, but that is not unheard of with a group, especially at an overpriced club in Vegas. But what if you spent $300 on ONE bottle of beer? Dustin, who pokes me with a stick every now & then to see if I am still alive, sent me an email today about this. Sam Adams releases a special edition called Utopias each year, and this year it is just in time for the holidays. It is dark, uncarbonated, 25% ABV, and very spicy, earthy and more like a port than a beer. You are supposed to drink it like a fine liquor, in a brandy snifter, at room temperature. It has a suggested selling price of $140 per bottle, but everywhere I have noticed it, it has never been for less than $279. So, you know, if you are racking your brain, trying to figure out what to get me for the next gift giving holiday...ha ha.

Sam says hi

I am in Boston for work. Like all work trips, it is a whirlwind. Up at at 'em at 7 am, go until it's not fun anymore, fight rush hour traffic to Logan and get back on a plane to cow town as the sun sets. But I did manage to snag Sam Adams, and he said to tell you all hello.