I Will Not Wax Poetic About Near Beer

In 2.5 months, I will get to drink an entire real actual beer, all by myself. I am ecstatic for that day. In the meantime, I steal a sip here or there but it is really more of a tease than a taste. Like being stranded in the desert, and tasting a raindrop on my tongue before the blazing hot sun beats down on my head again, these moments are sweet but fleeting. Pregnancy has become my own personal beer desert.

If you are a beer sort of girl, and you are looking for a fake beer to get you through 9 of the longest months ever to grace the planet, and you search the Google and Beer Advocate for non-alcoholic beer options, you will find reviews of NA beer that borderline wax poetic on their near beer qualities. You will find recommendations for Clausthaler, Kaliber, O'Douls, O'Douls Amber, and more. These reviews seem to all be written by men who have either never drank real beer, or were kept from beer by health conditions and sometimes the law, and they are all total bullshit. After trying Kaliber, I gave up searching for better options. Kaliber tastes reminiscent of beer. Malty, carbonated, almost the right color. But it is in no way real beer. Do not believe a word of anyone that says it is. It is NOT. Enjoy it for what it is, or just skip it and order a soda, which is what I have been doing for now.

I am glad that November/December is just the right time of year for porters and stouts and everything dark and delicious. I can't wait.

Extra rice, please

Last night my husband & I finally went for birthday sushi, only 2 days after my birthday. While we were debating what to eat, my husband considered ordering a stout. I wrinkled my nose at him. A stout? With sushi? Ew. There is a time and a place and a combo for everything. I am sure someone will comment about an amazing stout & fish/rice pairing they like. I just can't do it.

Every time I go for sushi, I drink one of three beers: Kirin, Sapporo or Bud Light. Because they are similar to my undistinguished palate. Not exactly the same, just not dramatically different. They are all inoffensive, clean, filtered and best cold. Perfect for washing down some raw fish and rice without mudding up flavors.

Both Kirin and Sapporo are Japanese Rice Lagers, brewed with *ahem* rice. Beer Advocate says a JRL should be pale yellow in color, soft hop nose, and expect a rounded, firm malty character, moderate bitterness, and a trademark dry finish.

Bud Light is a Light Lager style, which means that a high amount of cereal adjuncts like rice or corn are used to help lighten the beer as much as possible. Bud uses more rice, Miller uses more corn. Very low in malt flavor with a light and dry body. The hop character is low and should only balance with no signs of flavor or aroma.

I like non-intrusive beers with my rice & fish. I don't wander over to the wine side often, and sake is a bit much for most of my nights. (Side note, sake always = Jagermeister to me, with the potential to get a little too wild & crazy. I think the only reason I believe this is because they both can be ordered in "bomb" forms.) What do you normally order to drink when eating sushi?

Dreams Smashed

The men at my house this morning from 1-800-Got-Junk were suprisingly strong for their appearances. They carted away my broken retro deep freeze, after 2 Dads, 2 friends and my husband vetoed the idea of hauling the thing up from the basement, lifting it onto a truck, and driving it to the new house, only to have to fix it anyway. The Junk guys had it out of my basement in5 seconds flat, and I considered trying to bribe them to take it to our new place. But I gave up, and let it go. No retro kegerator at our house, then.

Retro Recycling

This old deep freeze has lived in my basement for a very very long time. It came with the house. It does not work. Now that we're emptying the house to move, I find that I've become attached. How do I turn this 1964 Frigidaire freezer into a most awesome retro kegerator? Anyone know a local who's handy with refrigeration?

Tony Toni Tone know all about it

It's our anniversary,
Made for you and me and
I've only made plans
To hold your little hand
It's our anniversary (anniversary)



Happy Four Year Blog-a-versary to us, little blog & me. The official 4th anniversary suggestions are fruit or flowers. The only fruit beers we can stomach here at a beer sort of blog are Magic Hat #9, and Dogfish Head's Punkin Ale. I'm ordering some of each.

How y'all doin?

Sooooo, I just back from Bristol. Tennessee. We rented RVs. It takes about 12-13 hours to drive there from KC. We worked our tails off, saw some NASCAR, debated loving/hating Kyle Busch, made friends in the campground and tried moonshine called "Catdaddy." I picked up a wicked southern drawl that it will take a week of solid Henry Higgins style voice coaching to drop. I now address singular individuals as y'all. No word actually ends in a "g." I can understand Boomhauer from King of the Hill. We drank Busch Light, Miller Lite and Bud Light. Yep. And you know what? I enjoyed the heck out of it. Random post over.

A beer sort of day

KC Hop Head and OregonAmy were nice enough to let me host July's Brew Day, and despite some ungodly humidity, I think a good time was had by all. I know I learned a lot, just by watching them do their brews. I chickened out, because I still had yet to figure out how to properly carbonate my Questionable Cream Ale in the keg, and am not loving the results I get from extract brewing. KC Hop Head managed to get my beer all set, so it was tested, and deemed drinkable if not delicious. :) The brews brought by Amy and her husband quite awesome, and I am freshly motivated to move on from "kit" beer. It doesn't look quite as scary and difficult, when everyone else can knock it out while hanging out on my back deck. So thanks for the fantastic company and examples to follow. I'm personally interested in the oatmeal raisin stout that was smelling so nice while boiling! Friends showed up all day and evening, and I thank you all.


Everyone brought summertime brews to share, from home brew to special finds. I think my top favorites were the Belgian Cherry that Average Jane brought, the Founder's Scottish Ale brought by Tim, and the IPA brewed by Amy & her husband. Good stuff!

My dog is so exhausted from yesterday that he has only woken up twice so far - both times to eat. Ha!

Edited to add that I inherited both a tan Coleman cooler with one unmarked bottle of homebrew, and a hula hoop after everyone left on Saturday. If you'd like to claim either, let me know!

Brew Day! Deck Party! Super Happy Fun Time!

Everyone is cordially invited to a Brew Day at a beer sort of house! Saturday, July 11th, starting around noon. We're going with a Summer Beer Trade/Brewing/Drinking theme. Think lagers, pilsners, fruit brews, kolsch, etc. We'll fire up the Weber, have a few yard games, and lots of awesome people there, some even brewing up their own concoctions. The forecast says 92 degrees, but it is always cooler in the shade of Prairie Village, so plan to stop by! Bring your favorite brew to share, and possibly a camp chair. :) Email, twitter, IM, etc for directions.

Oh yeah, edited to add that our house is a couple of weeks from going on the market. If you or anyone you know really wants to move into a remodeled ranch on an awesome street in Prairie Village with great neighbors, come check out the house before it goes on the market.

Ketchup

Second batch of homebrew is almost ready for second fermentation, so fingers crossed. Bubbling is mostly stopped, gravity truth to be unveiled tonight. The Cream Ale involved way less STUFF, so maybe it's more idiot-proof? We shall see.

Works busy, economy is crap, and I think I am putting my house on the market to buy another one down the street. Gotta keep it interesting, you know.

I am going to Baltimore & DC for the 4th, any recommendations on where to get a decent beer?

Also, Jessica from Obsidian Public Relations thought I might find this interesting enough to post on my blog, so here you all go:

Flying Saucer will present a beer tasting featuring Schlafly Beer on Monday, July 6 at 7 p.m. The event will be hosted by Stephen Hale, head brewer at St. Louis-based Schlafly. Six of Schlafly’s bottle-conditioned and barrel-aged beers will be paired with selected meats, artisan cheeses and dessert. Featured beers include the Tripel, Grand Cru, Bière de Garde, Quadruple, Oak-Aged Barleywine and Barrel-Aged Imperial Stout. Tickets for the event can be purchased at Flying Saucer and are $30 for U.F.O. Club members and $35 for non-members.

Fail Whale Pale Ale

The name ended up being more prophetic than I would have liked. It's really bad. Like, I don't even want to try anymore. I tried, I did. It smells awesome, but tastes like behonkey. The super low gravity that never rose told me this would be the result a week or so ago, but I really wanted it to succeed. Hope and want are not enough. Perseverance might be. You can get pretty far in a lot of things just by trying really hard and not giving up. I'm pretty stubborn, I don't like to fail, and I do lots of things I was not born to do, so there will be many more attempts.

Boil of a new brew starts tomorrow. In the meantime, I have a lot of cleaning to do. Sigh.

COMPLETELY related note:
I missed out on Amy's brew day today. I really could have used it. Long story, poor me, boo hoo, has everything to do with not so happy neighbors, a landscaping project, and then having to fill in for an employee on a Saturday afternoon/evening.

QUESTION:
That being said, KC brewers, if I can provide an actual venue, a free, private space, a place to gather, consume, discuss and teach/mentor the slower of us (me), would you be interested in an another meet up? The door is wide open. We could even invite home brew stores to come bring us goodies. I work in marketing, people, I will find us free stuff if I need to stoop to that level. Brew club peeps, experts & proven winning brewers (Jeff, I am looking at you) and fans (Bullevard) would you consider it?

I've always had a thing with gravity

Gravity testing on the brew starts now. Then on to moving it from one fermenter to another. Aren't you glad I updated you all on that? I am sure.

I've been kind of busy. Not in a bloggy way. Perhaps a little burnt out at the end of the day, too much time, too little do. Strike that, reverse it, you know. But it is summertime, GORGEOUS, and I have a little positive thing here: I paid a stranger to power wash, strip and restain my deck because I want to enjoy it, and I couldn't face doing it again. Grab a sixer of something interesting & meet me in the backyard, anytime.

Edited to note - This started out around a 1.020, I think. I should have done a better job of reading that specifically. Here's where we are now. Going to 2nd it because it really needs some clarification if my husband is going to drink it at all. :)

ATTN BEER BREWERS

I need some advice. I really want to start brewing. I have been goofing around with *thinking* about it for about a year. A friend of mine said he would do it with me, but my foot dragging pushed his impatience, and he started without me last night. He's doing a Cream Ale, from some sort of starter kit, and brewing straight to a keg. Booo. But it seems to have been the competitive spark I needed to get off my duff and start.

I bought this book, and I ended up getting a little more freaked out after reading, since it suddenly felt a lot more like chemistry class than home ec. I can bake, I should be able to brew, but now I am over thinking it. I am definitely starting from a kit from a local homebrew store, and I am STILL compiling a list of equipment I need. I'm recruiting the husband into the hobby, so I won't be alone.

I would love feedback from all you awesome people out there, you award winners, you serious brewers that I admire so much. Here are my starter questions:

1. What are the must have, no messing around, don't bother if you don't own this, equipment that you would recommend?
2. For a first timer, what style of brew would YOU recommend starting?
3. Should I attempt bottling, or is keg brewing easier? I have access to kegs and a kegerator, so I feasibly could do it, but am afraid of ruining so much beer all at once.
4. What are the worst mistakes newbies make, and how can I avoid them?

Thanks guys, I really do appreciate it!

Snowboarding in 70 degree weather!

This weekend my company will be dumping 68 TONS OF SNOW on the KC! LIVE Block. Why? Well, because we're having a snowboard tournament in the middle of the Power & Light, of course. Saturday, February 7th. And of course it'll be 70 degrees that day. So you should DEFINITELY come down to see the craziness. It'll be as family friendly as possible, with most of the bars closed during the day. Once the booze-mall picks up steam, the kidlets should have gone home anyway. The later crowd will enjoy the pro-am teams doing crazy tricks on the rails in the later evening.

Over the course of the next three days, a ski hill will emerge in the Live! Block descending from the skywalk to the Live! Stage standing over a story and half tall, 50 feet wide and 107 feet long. A total of 150 pre-registered local and national riders will compete in the event and 16 will be named to the “Scion 16” for an opportunity to team up with one of 16 professional riders for the finals competition. A large crowd is anticipated for the finale as it is the biggest snowboarding event to take place in the Midwest.

Date:
Thursday, February 5, 2009 (Ski hill construction & snow dump)
Saturday, February 7, 2009 (Competition)

Times:
Thursday, February 5, 2009
7:00 a.m. – Ski hill set-up begins (continues all day, until finished)

Friday, February 6, 2009
1:00 p.m. – Snow trucked in from Snow Creek in Weston, Mo.

Saturday February, 7, 2009
7:00 a.m. – Snow trucked in from Snow Creek in Weston, Mo.
9:00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m. (Registration)
Noon – 6:30 p.m. (Snowboarding Competition)
9 p.m. – 11:30 p.m. (Finals)

Location:
The KC Live! Block in The Kansas City Power & Light District

New Years Resolutions

I like to keep things simple, so I don't have a long list. I am putting them here to keep myself honest, to check in on from time to time. Resolutions are very easy to make and very difficult for me to keep.

1. Be healthier, meaning just to eat less crap and get to the gym an average of 3 times a week.
2. Drink less beer, in terms of volume, and better beer when I do.
   
3. Make sure my house is CLEAN, not just picked up, on a weekly basis. (Monkey hate clean.)
4. Start homebrewing this year. (This is more of a process, meaning I have a lot to learn and purchase, and a full dance card otherwise, but it is something I always wished I knew how to do.)

What resolutions did you make?

Two thousand and nine already?!

Happy New Year!
I love fresh starts, new beginnings, clean slates and alla that. I love shiny happy hopeful opportunities, inspirational quotes, and the like. So when I wake up tomorrow, hungover or not, I will remember that I have 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, or however you like to look at it, all clean and blank and stretched out before me to make amazing. Before I snarl at anyone and bitch and moan about how bad I may or may not feel, I will lay in bed and remember that it's a new day and a new year and it will be as awesome and amazing I allow it to be.

K, had enough sunshine blown up your wazoo? Have a marvelous time tonight, doing whatever you do, and remember, Holiday Cab is back up & running in KC. Call 816-777-1115 for a safe ride home. Driving around on NYE is a bad idea, no matter what. Morons. You know. I will stick to drinking beer tonight. Last time I drank anything else it was a bad plan. V. bad plan. Am grounded from red bull and vodka for life, I am sorry to say.

Sometimes I just steal things

Found via DP, who got it from TastyBooze, and reposted here because if you don't know, now you know. Aren't you glad you aren't a girl?

Friday Fun Day

Crappy camera phone pics from the Brooksider, sometime after 2 pm. Yes, we're retarded.

Numbers night for a numbers geek

I am watching the results roll in with a Boulevard Pale Ale, with one eye on a very sick dog and the other on the TV. No matter the results of the election, I am damn proud of our "young americans" who turned out in historically shattering numbers to rock the vote. I proudly wore my "I Voted" sticker all day, even though I did not take advantage of the freebie offers from Chik-fil-a, Starbucks, Krispy Kreme, McCoy's Public House or that body piercing place in Kirksville, MO.

Notes and stuff

I received a happy note via MySpace this week. (This is why I keep a MySpace profile around, to all of you people who tell me about how they delete their profiles from "dead" social networking sites!)

We have a special treat that we're making available to a select number of bloggers and beer reviewers who have covered Boulevard in the past. If you can send me your full name & address I can mail it to you, or if you would prefer I can leave it for you to pick up at our front desk. Hint: it's delicious.
Cheers,
Marketing & Communications Manager

Cheers, indeed! I love delicious presents, offered to me for no reason other than the fact I have a beer blog that some misguided individuals check on from time to time. I promise to report whatever it is they share with me.

I went to a dinner party last night. It was all very grown up and perfect, with awesome food, fabu wine, even dishes being washed while dinner was being made. Very impressive, you two. When people come to my house, I give them pizza or something else from a box, and still manage to end up with a sink full of dirty dishes the next morning. I know, I don't know how I do it. But it was quite fun, and I can't thank them enough. There was even a chocolate cake made with Fort Collins Brewery Chocolate Stout. That was the best, ever. I had a beer too many, didn't ask for the recipe, and probably didn't thank my hosts enough for all of the trouble. Nice, eh?

Tonight we're sipping on some Avery Redpoint Ale. Yes, drinking it because of my previous post. Neither me nor my husband can face more drinking any more of the pumpkin beers in the fridge, and we had more than a few Octoberfests lately. We needed something different, but still fall-appropriate. The Redpoint is a filtered, coppery ale that foamed up out of the bottle as soon as I flipped the top off, but resulted in a relatively thin head when poured into a glass, and disappeared entirely shortly there after. The nose is malty and nutty, with the promise of some kind of hoppiness to compensate. It is an APA, after all. The first sip is caramel and toastiness, and then with a slightly dry bit of hops. Maybe something sweet and fruity? It isn't terribly complex, but it is good. I dig it. The husband digs it. Hurray. Another beer to add to the "we both love this beer" list, beyond Sam Adams Light and Boulevard Pale Ale.

In this long, long leap of faith

Friday is my last day as a full time member of the VML media team. Monday marks my first official day as a full time member of Dept Zero, the alternative marketing company my husband Paul & I own. The company is five years old, and does some of the most exciting kind of experiential, street level, real world marketing. To say I am excited is an understatement. This level of commitment is something I have only had the stomach for when I got married. I don't even have any tattoos b/c I can't commit to an image forever. But I am 100% confident to now be a Zero for life.

I plan to be at the Saucer tomorrow afternoon. Hit me up via Gmail, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace or this blog if you can come on by.