Stay Classy

Some think this "viral" campaign by Bud Light for the Bud Light Lime cans is clever or funny. It's not. Not clever. Not funny. Not entertaining. I like dude-rtising. I think the majority of ads targeted to men are funny. Bud Light ads were always funny on the verge of stupid, but this is just flat out retarded. If you had dropped in a line about getting it in the can ONCE, that could have been funny. Repeated over and over, it's not. I think Jonathan over at the Pitch got it right - it 100% reminds me of the movie Idiocracy.



"The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections. "

How y'all doin?

Sooooo, I just back from Bristol. Tennessee. We rented RVs. It takes about 12-13 hours to drive there from KC. We worked our tails off, saw some NASCAR, debated loving/hating Kyle Busch, made friends in the campground and tried moonshine called "Catdaddy." I picked up a wicked southern drawl that it will take a week of solid Henry Higgins style voice coaching to drop. I now address singular individuals as y'all. No word actually ends in a "g." I can understand Boomhauer from King of the Hill. We drank Busch Light, Miller Lite and Bud Light. Yep. And you know what? I enjoyed the heck out of it. Random post over.

Frenemies

Reports are out that Coors Light has surpassed Miller Light to be the number 3 bestselling beer in the US, behind Bug Light & Budweiser. One of those stories can be found here. Coors latest marketing messaging sticks to one point, only that it should be VERY COLD. (I agree. Kills the taste.) What is funny is that Miller and Coors are supposed to be helping each other, being owned by the same company nowadays. Looks more like sibling rivalry. Clip of the info below:

Miller Lite's sales last year totaled 17.7 million barrels, down from 18.35 million barrels in 2007, according to trade publication Beer Marketer's Insights. Meanwhile, Coors Light's sales increased 2.6%, to 17.75 million barrels compared to 17.3 million barrels.

Coors Light and Miller Lite are the nation's No. 3 and No. 4 brands. The top selling brands are Bud Light, at 42 million barrels, up 0.1%, and Budweiser, at 23.1 million barrels, down 6.1%. Rounding out the top 10 are Natural Light, Corona Extra, Busch Light, Busch, High Life and Heineken.

Overall U.S. beer sales increased 0.5% in 2008.

It's All About the Benjamins

Right outside of Wrigley Field in Chicago are a number of buildings and rooftops visible from inside the stadium, for both live audiences and those watching on TV. One of them is the "Budweiser Building," a bright rooftop that A-B has used to run a giant billboard for Budweiser since 2004. The building has been sold, and the new owners are using a paperwork excuse to kick Budweiser out, and open the space back up to the highest bidder. In 2004, A-B agreed to pay the previous building's owner about $350,000 a year for the space, with a contract that extended thru Feb 2009. I can only imagine what the new owners think they can get for the space now. From the story in the Chicago Tribune:
The new owners failed to send an invoice for September's lease payment to the Chicago office of Jef Schmidt, Anheuser-Busch's director of marketing, according to the brewer's lawsuit. Schmidt contacted the owner's attorney, who then faxed an invoice, but the letter lacked a contact phone, fax and federal tax identification number needed before a check could be cut, according to the beer maker's lawsuit.
The new owner is saying A-B defaulted because they paid their bill 5 days late, which they only did because they didn't have any information on WHERE to send the money. The building owner just wants to be able to open it up, make it available to whomever will pay the most money each month.

What it used to look like from inside the stadium:


Now the rooftop is all covered up:

Great Taste, Less Filling

MillerCoors is bringing back the classic “Great Taste, Less Filling” advertising tagline for Miller Lite. “Research has shown the two factors that matter the most to mainstream light beer drinkers are taste and refreshment,” MillerCoors said on Tuesday in a message to distributors.

-- ripped directly from MillerCoors' BrewBlog

The quiz question for you, dear readers, is this.

If Miller Lite = Great Taste, then Coors Light = ___________?

Summer Beer Cocktail

Part shandy, part bug-juice, part WT answer to sangria, and always a good time, below is the recipe for summer fun in a big pitcher, ripped directly from Thomas Lin's Facebook note:

12oz can of frozen lemonade
12oz Vodka
6 cans of beer

Stir together the lemonade and vodka to dissolve the lemonade well. Pour in 6 cans of beer and give it a light stir to mix.

Feel free to use cheap vodka and cheap beer. You can't tell with the lemonade in there. It's tasty and has a kick.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Light headed

I am officially a light weight. That didn't take long. I stopped drinking beer, mostly, except for a Saturday here & there, and now I get girly-buzzed fast. Especially if it is a non-lite beer. Sigh. On the upside, I've lost a few pounds and I'm a cheap date. But guess what I found? A nice little study from our friends the Swedes that encourages drinking the good stuff, not the lite stuff. Not just another rehash of the red wine-heart health angle, either.
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Drinking wine or beer could lessen the risk of kidney cancer, says a recent Swedish study. The researchers at Stockholm’s Karolinska Institute studied the relation between intake of different types of alcoholic drinks and the chance of developing kidney cancer.

The study, published in the British Journal of Cancer, considered 855 people suffering from kidney cancer and a control group of 1,204 people who did not have any problem. They reported on their consumption of wine, beer, fortified wine and spirits.

The study, led by Professor Alicja Wolk, discovered that the possibility of having kidney cancer was 40 percent lower for those who ingested 620 grammes of alcohol each month as compared with those who did not drink at all.

The investigators found that the risk was decreased in people who drank over two glasses of red wine every week, or comparable amounts of white wine or normal-strength beer. They also found that intake of lighter beers, fortified wines and spirits was not related to a reduced risk of cancer.

The researchers believe that the relationship between alcohol and the reduced risk of kidney cancer could be because of the presence of antioxidants and antimutagenics in some drinks.

Like I could leave it at that?

No, can't leave the St. Pat's stuff alone. Not yet.
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Planning on doing some partying this St. Patrick's Day? If you are, remember to take this number with you. The St.Joseph Medical Center and Yellow Cab will provide cab rides in the St. Paddy's Wagon for those who've had too much to drink. They won't take you to another bar - these rides are only good for a "take me home," trip. The first $25 of the fare is on the house. Rides start at 3 p.m. Saturday and end at midnight. To catch a ride, call (816) 943-3949.
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You don’t have to drink cheap beer with green food coloring tomorrow. It will make your tongue a really ugly color, never mind the taste. Of course you could go for a Boulevard's Irish Ale, which you already know I adore, or a Guinness, which has done an excellent job "owning" St. Patrick's Day. But there are other loverly Irish brews out there from which to choose. In case you weren’t aware, I’ll elaborate.

The top and/or most popular Irish pours (besides Guinness) are Beamish Stouts and Reds, Harp (a lager from Guinness), Murphy's Stouts and Reds (owned by Heineken) and Smithwick's, another red.

Guinness is DARK, like all stouts and has a thick mouthfeel. Surprisingly to some, stouts actually contain quite a bit less calories than their lighter looking cousins. Guinness tastes more like coffee and grains than the others, at least to me.

Beamish Stout is all about unsweetened chocolate and strong espresso. Same stout consistency overall, however. I’ve only had this a few times.

Murphy’s Stout is more roasted malts and a lighter mouthfeel, despite looking very thick and dark. It smells like coffee & chocolate as well, but somehow manages to go down in a way I can only call silky. I *heart* Murphy’s.

Harp is a lager, meaning it is lighter in color and mouthfeel. It is clear gold in color and tastes more ‘crisp’ and smooth than the others.

Beamish Red is red in color, duh, and focuses on malty, caramel flavors. Of the reds listed here, I think it is the mildest/sweetest. Second only to Boulevard’s version.

Murphy’s Red is similar, but with slightly stronger hoppiness. If you aren’t a huge hop fan, this might not be your favorite. I don’t consider this to have much of a kick, but I like Pale Ales and other high-hop beers, so take that with a grain of salt.

Smithwick’s is also an Irish Ale, but it is brown, not red in color. (Don’t pronounce the “w” in that when you order it. Say “smitticks,” or “smiddicks,” unless you want the smart ass 22 year old waitress to correct you. That won’t make you feel very beer snobbish.) This is balanced between malts & hops, but definitely the most bitter of the reds, in my opinion.

Don’t know what to have? Order a Black&Tan or Half&Half, with Harp & Guinness (or Guinness and Bass). You don’t have to struggle with a decision, it looks cool, and certainly makes you more sophisticated than your bar mate, who is chugging something indescribable with green foam on top. Blech.

Why I Drink Shit Beer

Too many glasses of wine is typical with an expensive dinner. Ti many martoonis is ok when having a chicks night out. And a thick, dark, micro-brewed beer or four is cool when you can just chill. But some evenings call for something light, thin, not too alcoholic, and above all, familiar. I HATE getting hangovers. Every year I age, they become easier to acquire. So when I am settling in for the long haul, when I am drinking with people who drink fast and lots, I order shit beer. I have no idea how many I had last night. Lots. But I woke up feeling just fine. The other options spell trouble for me.

Wine drunk is fast, I get stupid, and I get hungover in the morning.
Gin also gives me a headache, usually before I even get to sleep.
Rum, tequila and whiskey drunks make me believe that I am always right.
Good beer makes my stomach churn & burn after too many. And I get full.

I think of excellent beer like, say, a good milkshake. I can absolutely LOVE a good milkshake, but it isn't appropriate for every time of day, or every place I go. Sometimes I just want an iced tea. I don't LOVE iced tea, but it has a purpose.

On some nights, I just know that there will be too many drinks going down the hatch, and depending on the company, or my plans for the following day, I plan my drinking accordingly. Shit beer is cheap. (Or at least cheaper than multiple cocktails.) It isn't heavy, I can keep myself from getting out of hand, and I know that if I go home at 2 am after drinking too many, I won't wake up feeling like a Mac truck ran me over.

So I say thanks to the makers of macro, light, tasteless, watery lagers. You made my morning not suck. And yes, I know what you are thinking. Shut up.

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling

I am starting to love the beer podcast. Is it just me?

I saw an article yesterday, and it got me thinking about how Coors has a strange stable of beers. They produce all of the following:

Coors/Coors Light/Coors Extra Gold Lager
Molson Canadian
Keystone/Keystone Light/Keystone Ice
Killian's Irish Red
Zima (in 5 flavors)
Blue Moon (Belgian White & Pumpkin)
Winterfest (limited, seasonal)

So for the most part, they do cheap, light beer, targeted to the masses, who plan to drink a lot of beer, probably in a can, maybe while standing in a driveway. Right? Oh, and Zima for the girls who don't like beer. Because who drinks wine coolers these days, anyway?

The seasonal Winterfest is likely brewed to attempt to win awards and justify a handcrafted claim on anything they sell. And that's cool. But Killian's and Blue Moon are the odd balls, requiring completely flipped marketing and support. Coors Light or Keystone drinkers are not microbrew drinkers, but microbrew drinkers don't drink Blue Moon and Killian's. Which means they have to walk a fine line down the middle of the road. And the middle of the road is never a FUN! EXCITING! place to be.

Killian's has an identity crisis, being a dark beer brewed by a macro brewer domestically, but with a faux Irish heritage in the name. Coors will probably continue to postion it as a microbrew in order to justify higher price tags, but it could be a stand out at the lower end of the cooler.
BeerAdvocate reviewers were disappointed with it's super-filtered, clear appearance, quickly dissapating head and sweet aftertaste. Regardless of packaging or shelf positioning it may recieve, it is plain to the real beer snobs that this stuff is mass produced in the same way that Coors is done. My absolute favorite review comment was, “The 'exotic' beer you can find at your local dive bar when only other choices are Bud and Bud Light.” He followed this up with this, "Also, if being consumed at that same dive bar, be prepared to get crap from your macrobrew drinking pals or old college roommate about being a “Beer Yuppie”… (Don't feel bad for them, they have NO idea what real beer is.)"

You know I bounce back & forth from beer snob to crap-beer-lover, so some days this is fine for me, and others, not so much. It's kind of like everything else in life. Sometimes I like oatmeal, sometimes I don't. But fall is coming. The temperature is dropping, leaves are blowing, and I am remembering how much I love wearing hoodie sweatshirts. Thick dark beer happens to also represent my favorite season of all, so I suspect the reviews will get darker, as do the days.

Drinking & Driving

Not together, mind you. It's just the 2 topics of this post.

I was the last car to get hit in a multi-car wreck that took place on a residential street less than 1 mile away from my house. The back of my car is toast, but everything else is fine. Waiting for a check from the insurance company to fix my car....

Last night I went a-drinking, and I made a conscious decision to drink shit beer. Because I knew that I was going to have more than one (see above) and the Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale that I wanted has at least 250 calories in it. Miller Light has less than 100. I had 4. That's 400 calories versus the potential for 1,000. It doesn't taste great, but it is less filling. *sigh*

Jenny From The Block

Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got
I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block.

WHY is this song in my head today?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Since it's torturing me, I thought I'd share the joy. And although it's a stretch, I thought I could use it to describe why the beers of the day ARE the beers of the day. Cuz you never forget where you came from. And I came from this. Domestic, canned, light, beer. It's not about taste. It's about experience. For me, it's usually summer & fall outdoor activities. Sitting in a parking lot before a football game, a backyard BBQ with a huge crew of friends, ice cold beer sweating in an ancient beer coozie that has a long-gone radio station's logo on it.

It's served ice cold because that's when you can taste it the least. Not that there's much to taste, anyway. But it's cold, it's alcoholic, and it's fizzy enough to make the men start burping like champs only 2 beers into an evening. It's CASUAL beer, as if most people think there is any other kind.

Standard choices are:
For those who believe they are too hip for that jazz, I also offer these old "yard beers":

I'm a Lazy Sod

For the second week in a row, I let Beer Friday come & go without the appropriate post. Bad Beer Girl! No points for me. OK, so let's call this Beer Saturday, and get a move on, shall we?

It's Saturday, it's a non-work day, and I'm feeling pretty ok with the world, even though it's damn chilly out today. What beer goes with that? How about a beer I personally will always associate with middle-aged, mid-western vacationers? You know who you are. You take your white, office-worker body south for a week & come back sunburned & obsessed with a CD of bad steel drum music or Mexican folk songs. I present you with a Corona, with a lime wedge, of course. Please don't squirt lime juice in your neighbors' eyes as you struggle to get it into the bottle. It's not polite, and simply highlights the fact that you don't drink this all that often.



My mid-western office-worker body would give anything to be 'miles away from ordinary' right now.

Beer

That's a title of a song, but it's so generic, so I'm actually supplying the lyrics of the chorus:

If I get drunk well,
I'll pass out on the floor now, baby
you won't bother me no more
if you're drinkin', well,
you know that you're my friend
and I say I think i'll have myself a beer.

Sounds like a Friday kind of song to me.

I think we'll need a light beer for heavy drinking.
The positives - Light feeling, crisp, defined as 'refreshing.' MUST be served ice cold. Also nice for those on diets.
The negatives - Can be bland, either feel flat or overly fizzy, horrible when served near room temp. Not as satisfying as 'bigger' beers.

I'd like to be more interesting, and offer up a Sam Adams Light, Amstel Light, or something other than the big 3's versions. But I've got to be honest. And honestly, I drink a lot of Miller Lite. I think it has more flavor than Bud Light, even though The Husband will contest this hotly at any point.

Glass bottles are my favorite for this beer, so that's what you're getting today. Drink up boys & girls. It's after noon, and almost officially the weekend.