I Will Not Wax Poetic About Near Beer

In 2.5 months, I will get to drink an entire real actual beer, all by myself. I am ecstatic for that day. In the meantime, I steal a sip here or there but it is really more of a tease than a taste. Like being stranded in the desert, and tasting a raindrop on my tongue before the blazing hot sun beats down on my head again, these moments are sweet but fleeting. Pregnancy has become my own personal beer desert.

If you are a beer sort of girl, and you are looking for a fake beer to get you through 9 of the longest months ever to grace the planet, and you search the Google and Beer Advocate for non-alcoholic beer options, you will find reviews of NA beer that borderline wax poetic on their near beer qualities. You will find recommendations for Clausthaler, Kaliber, O'Douls, O'Douls Amber, and more. These reviews seem to all be written by men who have either never drank real beer, or were kept from beer by health conditions and sometimes the law, and they are all total bullshit. After trying Kaliber, I gave up searching for better options. Kaliber tastes reminiscent of beer. Malty, carbonated, almost the right color. But it is in no way real beer. Do not believe a word of anyone that says it is. It is NOT. Enjoy it for what it is, or just skip it and order a soda, which is what I have been doing for now.

I am glad that November/December is just the right time of year for porters and stouts and everything dark and delicious. I can't wait.

Blogger on hiatus

I have some pressing matters to attend to, and while I promise I still love beer, I don't have time to dedicate to blogging about it. There are many others who do it, and do it well. See blogroll for references.

Also, to PR peeps, I am not trying to be rude, but it's really not likely that I will post your random press release, loosely related to beer. Thanks.

Cheers!

Great Guinness Blaze

Do not fret, friends. The fire at the Dublin brewery didn't harm any beer, according the the AP. Apparently it didn't even halt the tourist activties on the same campus, while the fire blazed on, per Business Week. Two Dublin firefighters are in the hospital, but no one was else was harmed. While this is another hit for Diageo, who was planning to make some dramatic shakeups before the bad economy hit, it will not cause any Guinness shortages or anything. No need to panic. But send your positive thoughts over to Ireland - they had a heck of a day.

Ahem! Announcement time

If you've been an unfortunate long-time reader of this blog, and I mean LONG TIME, going back to what, 2004? Then you know that I adore Magic Hat #9. I get to have one every once a year or so. Seriously. I hate all fruity beers EXCEPT Magic Hat #9.

Magic Hat #9 is light, English Pale Ale with fruity flavoring, of the peach/apricot variety. It's a total chick beer, but NOT a sickly-sweet chick beer. It finishes dry and crisp, which I really like.

AND IT IS NOW ON TAP IN KANSAS CITY. (via FatCity)
You may or may not find me at any of the bars listed below in the near future:

Record Bar, Westport Flea Market, Harry's Country Club Bar, Charlie Hooper's, Grinders, Swagger, Blue Grotto, The Well and Johnny's Tavern in the Power and Light District

Oh hey! I wonder if this means I could get a keg of it from one of our bar business friends for the office? Hmmmmmmmm....

What Beer Should I Drink?

Just in time for those wonderful Holiday parties, Eating The Road to the rescue. They figured we may need this one a bit more than the others seeing that we may be a little…ahh, under the influence. Due to that, please use this chart with caution and responsibility.

I tried to post it here, but it is simply to huge to post nicely on my poor little blogger template.

Scientific Studies = DUH

I know that every beer drinking male in the US caught this side item in the news recently. A German study (go figure) determined that a chemical in hops actually lowers testorone in men, which in turn may reduce their risk for prostate cancer. A snippet of that can be found here, on Guyism.

A competing study on women turns in a less rosy result - moderate female drinkers, that have recovered from breast cancer, are INCREASING their chances of getting breast cancer again. Here's the story from CNN. Of course, the women's study also noted that the 34% of moderate drinker survivors that had a return of cancer were also overweight or obese.

I didn't note those kind of stats in the male study, but rather than rant about any of that, let's add some common sense, shall we? If you're obese, lazy and drink all of the time, you're probably not going to live all that long. Male or female. Just my thought. And now, I am going to the gym. Cheers!

20 Things

20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/beer

from @oatmeal
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